Button Button, Who's Got the Button?My first move was just to experiment with the many buttons to figure out how to make things happen. There are three function buttons, but only two sets of arrows (to make things move faster or slower). Unfortunately, there are no directions with the iVibe, just some general info on the box, so I felt a bit like a scientist running experiments. (Left arrow up = vibrate. Left arrow plus f2 button = vibrate with pauses in between. Left arrow plus right up arrow = vibrate and rotation. Plus f2 = weird half rotations in both directions.)
Once I got it to do one thing though, it was difficult to undo it. Like, I used the right arrows to rotate, then the middle button to alternate rotations, but when I hit the middle button again to have it go back to one fluid motion, nothing happened. I hit the f3 button and yet another motion seemed to take place, but I couldn't get it back to the original motion. The same thing happened when I tried to go back from pulsing vibrations to a constant vibration. I had to keep taking the batteries out to start over again.
Next, and I doubt this happens to everyone, but I set the iVibe aside for a minute while I answered the phone, and it took on a life of its own. I was across the room from it and suddenly it went berserk, buzzing and rotating all around my bookshelf! Rabbit in heat! The buttons wouldn't shut it off, so I scrambled to remove the batteries, and made a mental note to do that after each use to avoid having a heart attack in the middle of the night if it went off in a drawer. I could just imagine what I would say if my roommate had asked what all the commotion was. "Um, just watching NASCAR? Vrooooommmmmm."
Making HeadwayFinally, ready to dive in and give it a try, I got cozy in bed and whipped out some lube. Before getting it all slick though, I experimentally put it in my mouth like a big popsicle. Aside from being purple, the iVibe is fairly realistic, with a head and veins and wrinkles like a real dick. If you're inexperienced with the real thing, this is great for practicing blowjobs, (or if you're trying to quit smoking but need something in your mouth) or even if you want to work at your condom unrolling technique. The only downside is if you get used to the size of the iVibe, the real thing may disappoint you. Sorry boys.
Finished with my mouth games, I lubed it up and carefully slid it in, surprised once again at the size. I eased it in and out a few times to get used to the thickness of it, then started with the simple vibrate mode. It was pretty damn good. All my sensitive parts perked up and I found myself wishing I had a tongue, possibly attatched to a man, to rub all over my body. From there I decided to see what else it could do for me, particularly with the rotating beads, and that's where I got into trouble.
As with my other vibrator, I found that the rotating didn't really do anything for me. I didn't have any special sensations or unbelievable reactions to it. I suppose each woman is built differently and prefers different techniques. But because there are so many buttons, I had trouble turning it off, and had to stop a couple of times and take the iVibe out (which is torture when you're just getting into the groove) to play with the buttons or take out the batteries and start over. This was distracting, and after a few minutes, it was more work than pleasure.
Patience is a VirtueThe next day I decided to try again, three, or maybe four (or five), times. By my third attempt I was beginning to crave its size and steady vibrations. I sped it up until I could barely breathe, then slowed it back down to relax a bit, then sped it back up until the fireworks went off.
By that evening I had given up on all the settings except for the vibrate. With fewer responsibilities on the button end of things, and my mind clear to relax and
fantasize, I had an incredible time with it.
It may have also helped that my roommate was gone for the day, so that I didn't have to feel strange about her hearing things from my room. I read other reviews, which claim the iVibe is very quiet, but mine sounds like it could be chopping down trees or mowing football fields. Maybe it just got bumped around too much in shipping and had some loose screws, so to speak?
The VerdictI would recommend this for an advanced sex toy user. It would make for a confusing, and possibly scary, first toy, but makes a logical next step for those who have used and enjoyed other products. Personally, I would prefer a simpler device, maybe with just one control to go faster or slower, as the three other buttons only made me think, when that was the last thing I wanted to do.
I imagine with a partner at the controls though, it would be enjoyable, allowing someone else to tease you and decide how much pleasure you receive. As soon as I find a partner to test that out with, I'll let you know.
